Smeggy's Forums

Forums where you CAN vent!

Skip to content

pic and mix [RIP Hurachai]

The place for Jokes - You're 'aving a laugh - "He's 'aving a laugh!"

Top Forum Index Page New Posts

Posted on


:rofl: :rofl: :rofl:

:maddy: Image


User avatar
Forum Slapper Lush
Posts: 33224
Joined: Sun May 25, 2008 9:53 pm
Location: East London with Just Dave now.
How Hot Are You?: Centre Of The Sun
Current Mood: Eff it.

Top Forum Index Page New Posts

Posted on


A man owns a swishy cocktail bar and is looking to hire a pianist. He gets a bloke in who's got Tourette's, but he can play classics, blues, jazz, "and I fucking write my own cunting stuff as well", he says.

He plays this really haunting gentle piece.

"What do you call that?"
"The smell of my wife's cunt. Here's another fucker."
And it's another great piece of music,

"That was: my cock's up your arse, now wriggle bitch" And so on.

He was the best - so good that, reluctantly, the bar owner takes him on but on the condition that he doesn't speak to the customers at all. The waiters will take requests to avoid him talking with them. It works well and trade is up.

One night the pianist can see a girl facing him in a short skirt and no knickers. After half an hour of looking up seeing that, he gets so horny that he takes a break to have a wank.

He takes a while - there is no music.

The bar manager starts looking for him, bashes on the toilet door and says, "Get out there and play now or you don't get paid for tonight."

So he rushes his wank, goes back and starts playing.

One of the waiters sees he hasn't zipped up and rushes over.

"Hey do you know your flies are undone, your cock's hanging out and there's come stains all down your leg?"

"Know it? I fucking wrote it!"


Planets and Atmospheres:
The Dome of Clement:
Minimal Cheese available at

User avatar
Grand Master
Posts: 6508
Joined: Wed Oct 20, 2010 10:16 pm

Top Forum Index Page New Posts

Posted on


:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: oldie but classic :)

-----|0| None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free. |0|-----

"Capitalism profits from War - Humanity profits from Peace."

User avatar
Aliens Ate My Chicken!
Posts: 111036
Joined: Sat Dec 15, 2007 8:32 am
Location: Smegland
How Hot Are You?: The Big Bang!!
Current Mood: Won Tons Mons


Share this Topic on Facebook:

Return to Jokes

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 4 guests