Sikipedia from today ....
George Michael sympathises with the Captain of the stricken liner saying:
"I'm often left abandoned with a badly damaged rear end and spent seamen in my bottom after a night cruisin'..."
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I saw an old lady in the Tesco car park struggling to load her bags of shopping into her car this morning.
As I walked past her, she said, "Excuse me young man, can you possibly help me?"
"I'll give it a go darling" I said, "What's up?"
She said, "I've been trying to load these bags into my car for about ten minutes or so, my back is killing me, have you got the time?"
I said, "Yes, it's quarter past 11."
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Three muslim men found guilty of handing out anti-homosexuality leaflets.
Good luck in the showers.
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Doctor, doctor, where ever I touch, it hurts like hell!.....Ah yes, you've broken your finger.
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Because I was known to have a way with the ladies my mates all nicknamed me ''Mr Lover Lover'' until one night I shagged a Downs Syndrome bird up the arse.
Now I'm "Mr Bum Spastic."
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I was explaining to my wife how sometimes I feel really high and then really low.
She said "Dave, get off the fucking swing."
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*Food hits floor*
Little Germs: 'Let's get it!'
King Germ: 'No, we must wait 5 seconds!'
-----|0| None are more hopelessly enslaved than those who falsely believe they are free. |0|-----
"Capitalism profits from War - Humanity profits from Peace."
In a decent society the people and the government should both respect and support each other. In this society the government think we are cattle and we think the government are cunts!!
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