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Letting the girl friend/boy friend stay the night

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Resonance wrote:
Little_Law_Chick wrote:Its not being old fashioned though, if you were to say to your 16 son/daughter, bring back whoever who like and as many times as you want and feel free to have sex in your bedroom, isnt that encouraging them to have sex in the first place? I dont think TR is saying she wants him doing it in the park, just that she isnt going to stand for it under her roof.


Well she did say

True red wrote:That's what the local parks are for (well it was when I was that age) :roll:


Maybe she was joking? Anyway that or similar will probably be the result. Obviously she doesn't want him bringing a different girl back every night, but if it's his girlfriend I really can't see a problem.

But what exactly doe the girlfriend role entail? You could be going with someone a week and call them your girlfriend? By allowing one girlfriend into his room, how many more will follow? Im saying this from the persepctive of someone who has had exactly the same problem, I was with my ex for 4 and a half years and my parent were not happy about him staying over throughout that period, only really after I was with him over 3 did they start to mellow slightly but it still wasnt exactly ok!



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Resonance wrote:
True red wrote:I know it's legal for him to be having sex, but does that mean he's mature enough to have the relationship that I would hope go with sex. No it does not.

I'm not saying I would prefer him to go and have sex in the park, far from it. I would want him to wait until he is a relationship. We have spoken to him about safe sex, and that it's not just about the worry of getting a girl pregnant, it's about protecting himself against std's.


But if he's going to do it anyway........

I still don't get why you think it's such a bad thing? It's not like he'll be at it in the living room while you're watching TV, at least I hope not :fingers_crossed:

You seem to be objecting to him having sex under your roof, because you weren't allowed to do the same. You don't seem to have any other reasons beyond that?



I can see I worded the 2nd paragraph wrongly, when say I want him to wait, I mean that when he is in a steady relationship I would consider letting a girlfriend sleep over, not that he should be having sex in the park.

Just because he's going to do it, why should I encourage it. It is nothing to do with me not being allowed, it's trying to encourage respect, maturity and responsibility.

I'm also fully aware that he is not emotionally mature enough to cope with a sexual relationship.

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Resonance wrote:But if he's going to do it anyway........

Then there's every chance the offspring will

1) 'maybe get some lass 'up the duff', or

2)'get nicked for indecent exposure when he gets caught at it down the local park'.

Cut it off, right now, it's the only way to be sure.

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True red wrote:I can see I worded the 2nd paragraph wrongly, when say I want him to wait, I mean that when he is in a steady relationship I would consider letting a girlfriend sleep over, not that he should be having sex in the park.

Just because he's going to do it, why should I encourage it. It is nothing to do with me not being allowed, it's trying to encourage respect, maturity and responsibility.

I'm also fully aware that he is not emotionally mature enough to cope with a sexual relationship.


But you seem to be saying that you know he's going to do it anyway.

True red wrote:Oh I know they'll do it, I just prefer it not done while I'm there.

I was never allowed boyfriends over, but can tell you all the great secluded car parks, and country spots in our area :pp:


You also seem to be hinting that it would be preferable that he found a secluded car park to do it in. So whether he's mature enough seems irrelevant as he's going to be doing it. If he's going to be doing it, is it not better for it to be in a safe environment? The lesser of two evils so to speak?



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Little_Law_Chick wrote:
Resonance wrote:
Little_Law_Chick wrote:Its not being old fashioned though, if you were to say to your 16 son/daughter, bring back whoever who like and as many times as you want and feel free to have sex in your bedroom, isnt that encouraging them to have sex in the first place? I dont think TR is saying she wants him doing it in the park, just that she isnt going to stand for it under her roof.


Well she did say

True red wrote:That's what the local parks are for (well it was when I was that age) :roll:


Maybe she was joking? Anyway that or similar will probably be the result. Obviously she doesn't want him bringing a different girl back every night, but if it's his girlfriend I really can't see a problem.

But what exactly doe the girlfriend role entail? You could be going with someone a week and call them your girlfriend? By allowing one girlfriend into his room, how many more will follow? Im saying this from the persepctive of someone who has had exactly the same problem, I was with my ex for 4 and a half years and my parent were not happy about him staying over throughout that period, only really after I was with him over 3 did they start to mellow slightly but it still wasnt exactly ok!



Thank you LLC. Yes I was joking about the parks!

And you're quite right, I can understand why your parents think the same way as me. I'm not saying that no one can ever stay over, or that I will be 100% happy when they do.

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True red wrote:
TimmyTooFar wrote:Yeah I agree that its best done in the safety of his own home! When I was growing up my mother was really strict on me. When I was 16 I had an 'interest' in one guy and the only way I was allowed to have him over was if there was a big group of us staying over. She obv didnt know half my friends were bi anyway haha. You may as well let girls stay over. Either way they will find a way to mess around, whether ur there or not! Its what they do :)



Oh I know they'll do it, I just prefer it not done while I'm there.

I was never allowed boyfriends over, but can tell you all the great secluded car parks, and country spots in our area :pp:


haha yeah that is fair enough :P

to make sure absolutely nothing happens while youre there, make him sleep on the floor in your room. or her, whichever floats your boat :)

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