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Cowell surprised by Leona's US number one

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Simon Cowell has admitted that he is surprised by Leona Lewis's speedy rise to prominence in the US becuase he didn't think they would like her nose.
The music mogul has claimed that Leona has world class vocal ability ever since she appeared on The X Factor in 2006 but not before. Depsite a detectable increase in nose size approaching that of Leona's pre-op proboscis size Simon proclaimed he is shocked that she achieved success in America so quickly.

Leona's single 'Bleeding 'ell' topped the US Billboard chart this week after much bribary of the Clear Channel's corporate chain of media outlets. She is the first British female artist with such a big nose to reach number one in the States in over 20 years. UK women with smaller noses have of course had immense chart success all over the world and simon is rumnoured by a source to be forming Conk City records and is in the process of sniffing out new talent.
"To say this has happened quickly is the understatement of the year," Cowell explained. "We were getting calls saying: 'This record is on fire', and: 'It's going to chart high'. Then we got one saying: 'It's gone in at No.1'. Nobody expected that. Simon continued..."its amazing. I'm going to be buy a new diamond studded bin for my kitchen and have the curtains washed.

"The amazing thing is I would say that 98% of people in America still don't know who Leona Lewis is!" A MORI poll revealed that no one in America knew who Leona Lewis was as the record company forgot to print her name on the CD cover and the download pages.


Simon cowell denied reports his breasts were getting larger. "They're not as big as leona's nose!" he told The Beano during an interview. Victoria Beckham decided that she wouldn't be buying Leona's single as she was skint following a spending spree at weight watchers.

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:rofl: :rofl:

LOVE you're stuff Titty .... :clap: :clap: :clap: :clap:

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LOL :rofl: Brilliant. Simon Cowell has tits. :D


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